"Oh yeah, I almost forgot the initial text," Mingyu recalled suddenly, stopping them in their tracks briefly in his surprise before catching himself. They continue on, Mingyu's grip on Fox's hand all the tighter.
"...did you mean that? Just... Just me, from here on?"
"...are you sure? What if I'm not nice about it? What if I've already run through all the graciousness I have?" Mingyu murmured, a lightness to his voice in spite of the weight of his words. He tugged Fox along, still a few blocks from his place.
It was a beautiful night. Mingyu barely noticed, so preoccupied with Fox, but the skies were clear, the air was crisp—
"What if I say you can't take it back...? That if you promise me everything, I'll take it all."
Fox came to a halt again, tugging on Mingyu’s hand to stop him.
“When have I ever told you to deny yourself?” He asked, serious. Even if Mingyu’s smile was making him very hot under the collar. “By the way? That. That’s the smile I was talking about. I’m not going to get any sleep tonight, am I?”
"...mm, maybe if you beg," Mingyu ventured, then laughed softly as he pulled Fox in again so long as they were stopped, pressing their foreheads together in fondness.
"You're right, you're right. Begging will only make it worse. You can sleep in the morning."
"You're the only one I've found since my parents passed, and all that I've known since we met," Mingyu pointed out, smiling again because this was a point of contention between Fox's future self and him as well, one Mingyu only believed in more and more the more time passed and the more of the world he came to know.
Fox truly was everything, had always been.
"...and I think you'll be surprised just what I have in me these days."
“I’ve seen other things make you smile,” he teased, thinking of their double dates with Rushi and Jade. But he wasn’t in a mood to argue too long. “It’s alright if you can’t see it now. I’ll show you again.”
The smile broadened, eyes crinkling. “Oh yeah? I’d like to see that. Show me whatever you want.”
"Say that again after you've seen my place," Mingyu sighed, kissing Fox softly on the lips once more before taking him by the hand once again to continue on their way. It wasn't much farther, just down the block, to the left, then across the street.
Anxiety began to gnaw at him as they drew closer; he'd been in such a rush to get to Fox he hadn't cleaned even slightly. Not that he would've even given the time, since the whole point was to... let Fox see.
"...why do you like me so much, anyway?" he sighed as they came up to his building, biting down briefly on his lip. "I know it's not what everyone else sees, but... whenever I get to thinking about it, I just can't figure out what it might be."
"No, I meant... I don't know. What do you like about me? Between what I was like when we met and how I am now— I can't figure it out. I feel like someone completely different, for better or worse," Mingyu attempted to elaborate, a brief look of frustration crossing his face. He knew exactly whether it was for better or for worse, but he didn't want to keep making Fox go over the same argument over and over again.
He let out a breath, cocking his head to the side.
“I don’t think you actually are all that different,” he murmured. “You were wounded when I found you, too, it was just... older. Distant. You were still closed off from everyone else, you just wore a kinder mask to do it.”
He turned his head away, slipping his hands into his pockets as his brow furrowed.
“I guess I just always... felt I lined up with you somehow. Like we vibrated on the same frequency.” He’s said this before, but he doesn’t know. It was in the future for him, still. “It’s just... really easy to be around you. Even now, when you do things that I want to shake you for, it’s like... I get it. You know? I think sometimes we’re opposite sides of the same coin. I’m sure I— I’m sure I would look the same, if I lost you.”
"I don't think so," Mingyu began, then stopped himself to revise with a shake of his head.
"...I hope not. I hope you don't have my darkness in you, and I hope the light that you are never dims," he whispered instead, almost like a prayer, casting a single, longing look at the clear night skies. Then he motions for Fox to follow him in, moving ahead to get the door to the apartment open.
He followed, but he spoke on the way, frowning at the back of Mingyu’s head.
“You need to stop talking about it like a separate entity. There’s no darkness in you, just like there’s no light in me, not really. We’re just people who make decisions based on the circumstances we’re presented with. Humans do shitty things. I do too. Don’t make me out to be some paragon, I’ll only disappoint you.”
He waited while Mingyu opened the door, still watching his back.
“Our past decisions don’t determine our future ones, you know. Not if we don’t want them to.”
"...you know how light is invisible? Like— Light rays in of themselves aren't visible to our eyes. There are things we can detect in the visible light spectrum, but light itself, traveling through space, has no shape, no form to be seen," Mingyu voiced quietly, expression pensive as he lingered outside his apartment door, back to Fox.
"But we know it's there. We can see how it illuminates our world, can tell when the light goes out. Even with our eyes shut, we can feel the warmth from the sun."
He turned to look over his shoulder, smiling again, expression set with determination.
"You do that for me every single day, Huli. The illumination, the warmth. And you can ask anyone who's crossed me about my darkness." The smile gained that newfound knife's edge again, and he opened the door. Flipping on the light switch, he stepped in, expecting Fox to follow.
Fox sighed, watching Mingyu’s back for a moment before following him in. He didn’t know how to get through to Mingyu, but maybe now just wasn’t the time. Maybe he’d be able to comvince him later.
At first glance, the apartment looked a lot like his own. A ton of notes and half completed incantations everywhere, littered with take out boxes. It was obvious Mingyu had been sleeping on the couch, and the only slightly odd fixture was the large chest that Fox instantly recognized as something from home.
He wasn’t as surprised as he should have been, maybe. He loved Mingyu’s apartment back home, clean and pristine, covered in soft pastels and plush mascots. But that image didn’t suit this Mingyu anyway. Huli has stripped Mingyu’s innocence from him, for better or worse.
“Oh so now you just live like I do, and neither of us clean up properly,” he teased as he stepped into the living room. “What are you so nervous about?”
"I don't know," Mingyu murmured, voice dry as he tried to read Fox's expression for something deeper, any sense of Fox trying to bury a deeper feeling than what he was saying.
"Must've mistaken you for someone with taste. And standards." Cracking a grim smile at that, he stepped past the mess in the living room, towards the hallway leading to the bedroom.
"I guess if there's nothing you want to see out here...?"
“You’ve seen my apartment. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”
Unfortunately for Mingyu, Fox never could resist magic, let alone getting a peak at what Mingyu - who he’d never known to be that adept - was working on.
So rather than follow him to the bedroom, he walked over to the coffee table and picked up one of the half scrawled incantations to read it.
His shoulders drooped, but he didn’t turn back around.
...yeah, that's more along the lines of what he thought. He can't even begin to guess which one of his projects Fox is having a problem with, because at a guess he'd say all of them, so he heaves out a sigh as he mops a hand over his face, moving over to see what it is Fox has in his hands.
He didn’t look angry or upset so much as heart broken.
He set the incantation down again and picked up the next one. Then the next one.
“Why do you even need these, here?” He asked in a quiet whisper. “Are you that afraid that what happened to Huli will happen again? We don’t— there’s no one here who’s out to get us, Mingyu, you don’t need any of these.”
At that question, Mingyu was silent for a long while. At first, he'd done it because he'd hoped to make progress here, for if and when he returned to the place where he still needed to get Fox back. But after learning he would retain nothing of his time here, why did he—
"...I don't know what else to do with myself," he confessed quietly, gaze dropping to the floor.
"It's who I am now. It's almost all I am anymore. I'm nothing without you. Just this."
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"...did you mean that? Just... Just me, from here on?"
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He turned, surprised, and then swallowed as his face got hot.
“Ah— I mean... yeah. I wasn’t going to uh, like, say anything about it but—“ he rubbed the back of his head with his free hand.
“... Yeah. Just you.”
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It was a beautiful night. Mingyu barely noticed, so preoccupied with Fox, but the skies were clear, the air was crisp—
"What if I say you can't take it back...? That if you promise me everything, I'll take it all."
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“I mean, that’s what people usually do when they’re dating, right? So why even ‘leave my options open’ in the first place?”
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"If you've decided on me... I won't continue to be polite about it."
The look he cast in Fox's direction was scored with a predator's smile.
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“When have I ever told you to deny yourself?” He asked, serious. Even if Mingyu’s smile was making him very hot under the collar. “By the way? That. That’s the smile I was talking about. I’m not going to get any sleep tonight, am I?”
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"You're right, you're right. Begging will only make it worse. You can sleep in the morning."
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“Mm, I’d better not complain at all, then.” He leaned up on his toes to steal a kiss and then murmured: “... It’s nice to hear you laughing.”
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"...I never really laughed much before I met you, you know. All the light in my world, you brought to me."
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"I think there's a lot more light out there than just me," he murmured, smiling. "But I still like making you laugh, if I can."
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Fox truly was everything, had always been.
"...and I think you'll be surprised just what I have in me these days."
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The smile broadened, eyes crinkling. “Oh yeah? I’d like to see that. Show me whatever you want.”
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Anxiety began to gnaw at him as they drew closer; he'd been in such a rush to get to Fox he hadn't cleaned even slightly. Not that he would've even given the time, since the whole point was to... let Fox see.
"...why do you like me so much, anyway?" he sighed as they came up to his building, biting down briefly on his lip. "I know it's not what everyone else sees, but... whenever I get to thinking about it, I just can't figure out what it might be."
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“What do you mean why? It’s not like I made a list of pros and cons and decided to.”
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“I don’t think you actually are all that different,” he murmured. “You were wounded when I found you, too, it was just... older. Distant. You were still closed off from everyone else, you just wore a kinder mask to do it.”
He turned his head away, slipping his hands into his pockets as his brow furrowed.
“I guess I just always... felt I lined up with you somehow. Like we vibrated on the same frequency.” He’s said this before, but he doesn’t know. It was in the future for him, still. “It’s just... really easy to be around you. Even now, when you do things that I want to shake you for, it’s like... I get it. You know? I think sometimes we’re opposite sides of the same coin. I’m sure I— I’m sure I would look the same, if I lost you.”
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"...I hope not. I hope you don't have my darkness in you, and I hope the light that you are never dims," he whispered instead, almost like a prayer, casting a single, longing look at the clear night skies. Then he motions for Fox to follow him in, moving ahead to get the door to the apartment open.
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“You need to stop talking about it like a separate entity. There’s no darkness in you, just like there’s no light in me, not really. We’re just people who make decisions based on the circumstances we’re presented with. Humans do shitty things. I do too. Don’t make me out to be some paragon, I’ll only disappoint you.”
He waited while Mingyu opened the door, still watching his back.
“Our past decisions don’t determine our future ones, you know. Not if we don’t want them to.”
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"But we know it's there. We can see how it illuminates our world, can tell when the light goes out. Even with our eyes shut, we can feel the warmth from the sun."
He turned to look over his shoulder, smiling again, expression set with determination.
"You do that for me every single day, Huli. The illumination, the warmth. And you can ask anyone who's crossed me about my darkness." The smile gained that newfound knife's edge again, and he opened the door. Flipping on the light switch, he stepped in, expecting Fox to follow.
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At first glance, the apartment looked a lot like his own. A ton of notes and half completed incantations everywhere, littered with take out boxes. It was obvious Mingyu had been sleeping on the couch, and the only slightly odd fixture was the large chest that Fox instantly recognized as something from home.
He wasn’t as surprised as he should have been, maybe. He loved Mingyu’s apartment back home, clean and pristine, covered in soft pastels and plush mascots. But that image didn’t suit this Mingyu anyway. Huli has stripped Mingyu’s innocence from him, for better or worse.
“Oh so now you just live like I do, and neither of us clean up properly,” he teased as he stepped into the living room. “What are you so nervous about?”
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"Must've mistaken you for someone with taste. And standards." Cracking a grim smile at that, he stepped past the mess in the living room, towards the hallway leading to the bedroom.
"I guess if there's nothing you want to see out here...?"
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Unfortunately for Mingyu, Fox never could resist magic, let alone getting a peak at what Mingyu - who he’d never known to be that adept - was working on.
So rather than follow him to the bedroom, he walked over to the coffee table and picked up one of the half scrawled incantations to read it.
His shoulders drooped, but he didn’t turn back around.
“Oh Mingyu...”
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"Told you, you wouldn't like it."
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He set the incantation down again and picked up the next one. Then the next one.
“Why do you even need these, here?” He asked in a quiet whisper. “Are you that afraid that what happened to Huli will happen again? We don’t— there’s no one here who’s out to get us, Mingyu, you don’t need any of these.”
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"...I don't know what else to do with myself," he confessed quietly, gaze dropping to the floor.
"It's who I am now. It's almost all I am anymore. I'm nothing without you. Just this."
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