[ Fox shook his head, accidentally sending flecks of spray out from his tousled hair. ]
Nah, not - you didn't say anything wrong. I don't know. I just don't like that I worry you that much.
[ He frowned, stepping a little further back into the water to feel it drench through his hair before speaking again. ]
I don't blame you for not trusting me to want to be here, and I don't think anyone else would blame you either, but... I do want to be here, Mingyu. I didn't lie to you. I'm here because I want to be here, alright?
[ mingyu blinked, then frowned as well, expression shifting from confusion to embarrassment to guilt. he gave a hard swallow, then put his arms around fox's waist to draw him in, stepping closer as well to keep them beneath the water. ]
...it's not a reflection on you. I've worried all my life, about everything. Even when my parents were around, I still... Always imagined the worst happening, and—
[ he gave a tight smile and hard swallow. ]
I've worried more since the worst did happen, with them. It's nothing you're doing specifically, Huli. It's just... life. It's who I am, what I am in society. And perhaps a little of what you are in society, but I don't think there's anyone you could be that wouldn't still have me worrying.
[ touching fox's cheek, he fixed him with an apologetic look. ]
I know you want to be here. Me worrying is... just an occupational hazard of you meaning something to me.
Will you forgive me if that takes a little adjusting to? [ a nervous laugh escaped mingyu at that, burying his face briefly against fox's damp, bare shoulder. ]
I do believe you. I'm just... having a little trouble believing my own good fortune, I think. I keep... waiting for the other shoe to drop. The better this gets, the more uneasy I get.
[ lifting his head again, mingyu offered fox a shy, almost apprehensive sort of smile. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Nah, not - you didn't say anything wrong. I don't know. I just don't like that I worry you that much.
[ He frowned, stepping a little further back into the water to feel it drench through his hair before speaking again. ]
I don't blame you for not trusting me to want to be here, and I don't think anyone else would blame you either, but... I do want to be here, Mingyu. I didn't lie to you. I'm here because I want to be here, alright?
no subject
...it's not a reflection on you. I've worried all my life, about everything. Even when my parents were around, I still... Always imagined the worst happening, and—
[ he gave a tight smile and hard swallow. ]
I've worried more since the worst did happen, with them. It's nothing you're doing specifically, Huli. It's just... life. It's who I am, what I am in society. And perhaps a little of what you are in society, but I don't think there's anyone you could be that wouldn't still have me worrying.
[ touching fox's cheek, he fixed him with an apologetic look. ]
I know you want to be here. Me worrying is... just an occupational hazard of you meaning something to me.
[ a pause. ]
...meaning everything to me.
no subject
You can worry about whatever you want, as long as you believe you mean everything to me too.
no subject
I do believe you. I'm just... having a little trouble believing my own good fortune, I think. I keep... waiting for the other shoe to drop. The better this gets, the more uneasy I get.
[ lifting his head again, mingyu offered fox a shy, almost apprehensive sort of smile. ]
You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
no subject
[ He smiled back, warmly despite having to blink the water back. ]
But if I’m the best thing to ever happen to you, honestly that’s a pretty good legacy.
[ He leaned up for another kiss before taking Mingyu’s hands. ]
Come on. No more brooding. Help me scrub up so when I drag you back to bed you won’t complain that I smell like burnt hair.